Margo was extremely bright and had recently earned a doctorate in education from an Ivy League School. She came to our first coaching session with a very clear set of goals and was ready to achieve them. Although Margo was a charter school director in an urban setting, she now wanted to change direction and become the leader of an organization involved in international education.

Before hiring me as her coach, Margo had checked out my credentials, spoken to a colleague she knew I had coached and questioned me thoroughly about my professional background and experiences. However, she had not asked me about my expertise in international education and companies involved in this specialty. To be honest, my knowledge base in this area was quite limited.

Yet, here we were in the middle of our initial coaching session when Margo asked me to give her advice about researching the field of international education. She was a bit surprised when I began to laugh and told her two things:

1. While I had expertise in a number of educational topics, international education was not one of them.
2. Even if I were a specialist in international education, my role as her coach would not be to advise her.

Of course, Margo wondered why her coach would not give her advice. I then explained that I was her thinking partner and would challenge and support her as she developed her own plan of research. If I had just supplied her with information that stood out in my mind, I would be doing Margo a disservice because I would not only be undermining her own excellent ability to think and find solutions, but also, I might limit her thinking about possibilities by influencing her to research only those areas about international education that I knew or thought appropriate.

Margo was disappointed at first that I did not give her direct information. She then asked me to explain what I meant when I said I would be her thinking partner rather than give her advice. My next response resulted in both of us laughing and provided her with an important “aha” moment!

I shared with Margo that I, too, had written a dissertation as part of the process for earning a doctorate. I clearly recalled that one of the five chapters of a dissertation describes all of the research to date about the dissertation topic. Surely Margo must be an excellent researcher to have completed her dissertation for such a prestigious university. Margo laughingly agreed, that indeed she was a very capable researcher and now she understood why it was important for her to investigate the field of international education rather than receive advice from me.

Our session ended with Margo excited and eager to begin her research as we wondered together what possibilities and opportunities she might discover. She left the call feeling confident in her own abilities and we both found ourselves looking forward to our next coaching conversation.

by Linda Gross, Ed.D, ACC
Coaching For Results Global, Inc.

Spring heralds the season of rebirth, renewal, spring cleaning and freshness. We can apply these principles of Spring to our own lives as well, as we dig out of the muck of winter and get unstuck from old assumptions, negative thoughts, and cluttered and unproductive thinking.  Whether you work in a business, in a school, or are relating to personal or professional relationships, it’s time to clean out, throw out, and reach out!

First, let’s clean out the cobwebs. Cobwebs are silky, sticky places that hide spider pods in the cracks and crevices of your home. If left unattended they produce mature creepy crawlers in your home. While we attend to the cobwebs in our homes, we often don’t give ourselves the same cleaning out of murky,  sticky, hidden thoughts that reside in the crevices of our of our minds. Don’t wait until you need an exterminator to get in touch with those cobwebs. Work with a coach to expose the hidden patterns and themes that might be keeping you stuck. It’s time to dust off and gather a fresh perspective!  Sometimes cobwebs are beautiful masterpieces in an outdoor environment that you don’t wish to disturb, but just wish to observe the intricacies and beauty of the design. Sometimes you want to look at the intricacies and patterns in your own life or situation and don’t quite know where to begin. A coach can help you appreciate your personal themes, celebrate your own intricate design and think of multiple pathways to fulfillment. A coach can offer you the presence and the confidential space to say things you have not said out loud. Once you say it, you can address it and make those renewing changes!

Throw out negative thoughts that rob us of necessary energy to put positive plans in place. Negative thoughts are doubt, blame, holding a grudge and not forgiving. It is easy to doubt yourself after a long cold winter. Did I do enough to move my school forward?  Did I do enough to support my staff?  Was I an effective leader? Are we going to see the results we had hoped for in our work? All legitimate questions, but it is important to recognize the other side of doubt which is to foster the confidence and appreciation of what has been accomplished. We’ve been sloshing through the snow, so it’s time to look up and celebrate the sunshine that is breaking through! Blame is toxic to the spirit. It’s time to cultivate the garden of forgiveness and acceptance. I recently heard T.D.Jakes who said, “forgiveness for empowerment is for the strong, not the weak! Not to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die” In this climate of Spring, we have an opportunity to bring a climate of renewal and positive energy to our lives and our environments. Be a balcony leader who beckons people to their higher selves as opposed to a basement leader who bangs on others’ basement pipes.

Finally, reach out. Jettison both the physical junk and emotional junk that clutters your life and thoughts. With a coach you can gain clarity around issues that are keeping you stuck in the old winter muck. It’s time for a fresh look at old issues. What better way to recalibrate than with a coach who will challenge your old assumptions and mental models and be a thinking partner with you as you dream of new possibilities for your life and work.  At Coaching for Results Global, we study the art and science of facilitating learning and planning so that our clients can realize the intersection of their dreams and their results. Have a Happy Spring!

Diana Williams, Ph.D. and PCC
Coaching for Results Global, Inc

What principal would not want high quality instruction in every classroom of the school EVERY day of the year?  That means even when holidays are coming, testing is nearing, there are only 15 days between one break and another, or the end of the year is in sight.  Every minute is precious learning time!

That is exactly what Angie believed as she noticed that the quality of lesson planning was dipping to an all time low as the second semester of school was beginning.  She resolved to do something about it!

When her coach asked what criteria had been articulated as expectations for high quality lesson planning, there was an extended pause.  Angie immediately recognized the issue.  Her articulated expectations had been about the logistics of lesson planning – do them, address all curricular areas, complete them online every week by Monday at 8:00 a.m.

What she wanted was to return to the standards and expectations for her desired outcome –evidence of regular and consistent high quality lesson planning.  Quickly she developed four measures for her goal that she would address in her faculty meeting scheduled for that very afternoon.

1. Meets student needs
2. Aligns with the district scope and sequence
3. Offers sufficient detail for others to successfully teach it (including me)
4. Matches what I see when I come into your classroom.

It was in response to the question, “How will you monitor implementation of this best practice strategy?” that Angie got to the crux of her plan. She wanted to ensure there was a balance of tension and support in her follow up behaviors to get what she wanted.  Previously, she had offered no feedback to teachers’ lesson plans.  Reflective feedback was what Angie identified as the means to her end.  She had previously learned there were three options for reflective feedback – ask clarifying questions, offer value potential statements, or ask reflective questions for possibility.  She knew the attributes of the questions were that they were open-ended rather than “Yes/No”, they presumed positive intent, and they promoted the thinking of the other person.

She committed to the accomplishment of a new goal – “owning the skill” of reflective feedback because she believed it would provoke her teachers’ thinking around quality lesson planning.  She also believed it held the greatest potential for stretching her teachers who already went above and beyond the standard.

Toward this end, she collected samples of the exact reflective feedback language she used with teachers on the current week’s lesson plans and brought it to the coaching conversation for discussion and improvement.  Her reflection was that value potential statements were easy for her and that the reflective questions for possibility were where she wanted to focus her attention.  She also noted that she was creating a response pattern of extending a value potential statement as a lead in to a reflective question.  For example,

• For a strong teacher who goes above and beyond, she asked, “The format of your lesson plans (Today the student will . . .) shows that you are thinking deeply about the lessons you will be teaching.  Knowing you are trying something new, what are the anticipated results of this new format?”
• Another time she wanted to “hold up the expectation” to give a little nudge.  So she asked, “Knowing your students so well, what differentiation strategies are you thinking you want to try?”  She wanted this to support the teacher in considering important measures for a high quality lesson.
• For the teacher who submitted incomplete lesson plans, she offered this feedback, “As you compare your lesson plans to the articulated standards and expectations for high quality, what are you thinking will be your next steps to meet these expectations?”  This would help the teacher focus her thinking about next steps.

Angie was energized. “I can’t wait to practice my reflective feedback today!”  Imagine the growth of Angie’s staff AND the contagiousness of her own enthusiasm by leading in such a proactive way!

by Karen Anderson, PCC,
Coaching for Results Global, Inc

While I was in the classroom, I got an email from a teacher who wanted to talk with me about a student issue. As I walked to her class I was thinking to myself, ‘Don’t be a solution listener.’ I listened to the issue, paraphrased what she was telling me, and then proceeded to ask questions of her that led to her coming up with the solution herself. I didn’t have to solve her problem, she did it herself!” ~ Principal who attended CFR Global training.

Are YOU this Principal? Do YOUR teachers solve their own concerns with you as the committed listener and encourager? Do you provide the support and challenge for your staff to be problem solvers?

As learners we are often great at implementing new practices that we have learned through a good learning experience… at least the next day. And then we get busy, and even though we said that we would change, we don’t. Our notes get buried under the pile of must-do’s and the new learning fades without reinforcement or review. The commitment to really do this becomes yet another guilt trip that lays heavy on us.

What to do? Here are a few options to consider for getting back on track:

• Dig out the notes and read through them.
• Call a colleague who was also in the workshop and talk about the new technique that you’re trying to implement. Ask them to be your “accountability buddy” and check back with you to see if you REALLY are practicing and improving.
• Contact the workshop teacher and ask for a quick review or clarification of the fuzzy learning – who wouldn’t be thrilled to think that you cared enough about what you learned to come back to the source for more learning!

As learners we are seekers who don’t always follow a direct path to new learning. We must model that for our staff. Share your struggles about changing habits. Understand and then pull yourself back on track.

By Sue Kidd, CFR Associate
Coaching For Results Global

As a school leader, when was the last time you were challenged and acted with courage under fire? You may wonder what does “courage under fire” look like? Maybe it’s moving forward with intention even when you’re unsure or anxious about what you’ll be doing or how it will be received. Perhaps it’s really facing the challenges coming your way on a daily basis. I worked with a client – Marissa – who was an example of courage under fire and a win-win attitude.

Marissa, a fairly new principal, was convinced that she needed to confront a teacher about issues that were impacting other staff members and the effectiveness of their teaching team. Problems involved working with and contributing to her team but Marissa wasn’t feeling very comfortable or confident about initiating that conversation.

As we worked together, she openly shared the problems she was witnessing. She spoke about the individual personalities and team dynamics that she had observed, as well as verbalizing expectations she had for changes needed to help the team work better together.

In our next coaching visit, Marissa wanted to plan the actual conversation she felt was important to have. I could sense she was still a bit reluctant, so I asked if it would help her to think about some responses she might expect from the conversation and how she might handle those. She agreed and also thought about what might be the worst thing that may happen and what would be the best thing.

There still seemed to be an obstacle that was holding her back from following through with her commitment. I could almost feel her stomach flip-flopping as she spoke. Offering a different perspective, I asked Marissa, “How would you want to be approached by your supervisor if you were having a problem?”  There was a very long silence that followed and then her reticence melted as quickly as ice cream on a hot summer day.  She instinctively had a clear insight into the approach that would be effective for her and her teacher. She knew the words that were needed and the feeling tone that would invite growth rather than point the finger of blame. Her hesitation changed to confidence.

This was an “aha” moment of learning for Marissa and it has continued to be reflected in her leadership style. She came to a clear understanding of what Covey describes as a “win-win” and she continues to keep that perspective in mind as she leads her staff.

What challenges are you currently facing that may require “courage under fire” and a focus on “win-win”?

By Jane Bidlack
Coaching For Results Global

Neuroscience study after study continues to reveal the emerging new knowledge that the human brain is a social organ.  Its physiological and neurological reactions are directly and profoundly shaped by social interaction. The challenge this presents for leaders is that instead of the “job” being regarded as an exchange for financial compensation, we now know that the brain experiences the workplace first and foremost as a social system.  If people feel betrayed or unrecognized at work, if they are reprimanded, if they are given an assignment that seems unworthy – they experience it as a neural impulse, as powerful and painful as a blow to the head.   21^st Century leaders who understand this dynamic can more effectively engage their employee’s best talents and support their learning teams while creating a work environment that fosters productive change and growth.  A distinguishing leadership capability for the 21^st century will be the leader’s ability to intentionally address the social brain in the service of optimal performance.

Research into the social nature of the brain has uncovered five particular qualities that enable the governance of a great deal of human behavior starting with the “threat and reward” response.  A shadow, an unexpected noise, the new employee at the closest desk – all arouse the limbic system.  This radar to “minimize danger and maximize reward” is a fundamental organizing principle of the brain.  Neurons are activated and hormones are released as you seek to learn what this new entry really is.  Recent studies show that the threat response is often triggered in social situations and tends to be more intense and longer-lasting than the reward response.  The same responses that would drive us toward food or away from predators are triggered by our perception of the way we are treated by other people. This new knowledge is rewriting Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory………with social needs now sitting right smack in the middle – the brain is equating social needs with survival; that is – being hungry and being ostracized activate the same neural responses!

The five social qualities that enable employees and leaders to minimize the threat response and maximize the reward responses are: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness.  The acronym becomes SCARF.  Think of it as a kind of headgear that an organization can wear to prevent exposure to dysfunction.  Let’s briefly examine some characteristics of each.

When people are allowed to think for themselves and feel someone believes in them, the sense of STATUS increases — the brain’s sense of position and importance.  Chemicals are released in the brain from the sense of status.   How we give feedback will automatically alert status.  One way to support this is to allow people to give feedback to themselves based on rubrics or standards and getting them to ask questions.  Status is an extremely important driver of motivation and behavior.

It is critical that the sense of CERTAINTY is present in the brain. Uncertainty creates a lack of focus.  When we provide clear expectations about roles and responsibilities, about timelines, about levels of performance, etc. – all create certainty.  Just observe the chaos around and inside people when rumors begin about layoffs or company downsizing.

The brain loves choice or the perception of choice, – AUTONOMY.  When we give people advice or tell them what to do, they don’t feel choice.  More choices produce less stress and a sense of being in charge of one’s learning or one’s agenda. People need to feel they have choices even when it appears there are none.

The brain needs RELATEDNESS to support its survival.  The brain senses if another person is a friend or foe.  When we connect with people we get a shot of cortisol; when we meet people we don’t trust, the brain senses the threat.  Trusting environments and relationships are critical to safe learning and change. A smile, a hand shake, a conversation, sharing – all send a message to the brain to feel connected to another.

The brain also senses FAIRNESS — the feeling of equality.  The perception of fairness has the same effect to the brain as touch—it is intrinsically positive. Leaders must be clear about treating others fairly by being open and transparent.

Put on the SCARF: If you are a leader, every action you take and every decision you make either supports or undermines the perceived levels of status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness in your system.  In fact this is why leading is so difficult.  Your every word and glance is freighted with social meaning.  Your sentences and gestures are noticed and interpreted, magnified and combed for meanings you may never have intended.   SCARF provides a means of bringing conscious awareness to interactions.  It alerts you to people’s core concerns and shows you how to calibrate your words and actions to better effect. Leaders can minimize and even prevent dysfunction because they are creating SCARF atmospheres….places of production, creation, thoughtfulness, and energy.

by Kathryn Kee, PCC
Coaching for Results Global

Reference: David Rock, Neuroleadership.org

Listening to See

I called Armando to welcome him as a new client, share my excitement to be his coach, answer questions, and schedule our first session. When I asked what questions he had, Armando said, “After reading your email, I understand it’s my responsibility to call at the scheduled time from a place where I have privacy and freedom from interruptions. However, since I prefer to hold important conversations face-to-face, how does phone coaching work?” I paraphrased, “Our coaching conversations are important to you, and you don’t want miscommunication to be a problem since we won’t be able to see each other.”  “Yes, that’s it!” Armando said.

His response to the paraphrase clarified the question and helped frame my response. In many ways coaching is the same whether it is face-to-face or over the phone.

• It’s a dance between two partners where the client always leads
• The coach’s role is to challenge the client’s thinking without telling him what to think (no advice or leading)
• Both partners need to be fully present (no multi-tasking) and listening fully

Listening is even more important during phone coaching, because we have to hear the non-verbal clues. My experience and training have helped me develop the ability to see with my ears. I listen for changes in speed, voice level, tone, and emotion as well what my client says or leaves unsaid to help build meaning and prevent misunderstanding.

As we ended the call, Armando said, “Thanks for your explanation about how phone coaching works. It was helpful. That and the listening skill I heard you demonstrate during this conversation give me confidence that phone coaching will work. Now I’m ready to get started!”

What are your thoughts about listening? Consider both the listener and the one being listened to.

By Bob Carter
Coaching For Results Global

The other day I spent time syncing all my technology.  You know the drill.  Sync the Ipad to the computer; then sync the Smart phone to the computer.  I felt so proud of myself; I had all my technology aligned.

Then disaster struck.  When I accessed my pictures on my Ipad, the various “sets” of pictures that I had saved were all jumbled up.  Pictures of my grandson learning to ride his two wheel bicycle were mixed with those of my dad and mom as a young couple with me, their first child in their arms.   Then there were pictures of me, my dad and this three grown grandsons on an epic trip to Washington D.C. to see the World War II Memorial.  ( My dad was a veteran of that war and passed away this summer at the age of 94.)  Pictures showing Christmases past, vacations and other events in my life were also included.

At first I was frustrated and annoyed.  Why couldn’t my pictures have downloaded in the correct order?  Technology can be such a challenge.  Then I reframed my thinking.  It was really rather nice to see snippets of my life reordered and played back in a new way.  What wonderful memories these images provoked!  Although these were my personal pictures, it made me wonder what professional pictures I would have captured during my educational career and where they would have fallen in this kaleidoscope of my life.

What images would be in your reordered personal and professional life?

What event or situation in your life have you recently “reframed” in order to deal with it in a new way?

by Edna Harris, PCC
Coaching For Results Global, Inc.

This month’s blog post is about one of our own – Riva Korashan – who passed away in January after a brief illness with cancer followed by pneumonia. We at Coaching For Results Global are still trying to figure out how best to deal with this sudden and deep loss and we decided that one way is to share our loss with our readers in the hopes that we not only shine the light on Riva but also send a reminder out about how precious life is and how grateful we are for the wonderful friends we meet and spend time with along the way. Here are words from CFR Global President, Frances Shuster, who shares personal thoughts.

To learn more about Riva and the impact she has had on others, go to www.coachingforresultsglobal.com and click on “coaches.”

Picture at Right – Riva Korashan (left) and Frances Shuster, October 2011

I am still reeling over the loss of our dear friend and colleague, Riva. She left us far too soon. I see constant reminders of her all around me. I hear her beautiful voice singing, “I Hope You Dance”, which she led at the close of each of our in-person meetings.

Riva was my first CFR coaching circle coach. We talked on Sunday nights. Then I coached her. Sunday nights again. So each week, when 8:00 p.m. Sunday night Central Time rolls around, I remember our deep and life-changing conversations.

When Kathy, Karen, Edna and I worked with Riva’s Leadership Academy in New York City, the first thing that struck us was the evident deep respect and regard with which Riva’s United Federation of Teachers Teacher Center (UFTTC) colleagues held her. We knew that about her, and it was uplifting to witness that those who had known her longer and on a daily basis also felt the deep love we had for her.

Left to Right: Edna Harris, Frances Shuster, Riva Korashan, Karen Anderson, Kathy Kee in New Your City

That work in New York City was the genesis of my love for the City. I have visited a number of times since, each with Riva being my husband, Jim’s, and my enthusiastic and effervescent guide. She took us to places from her childhood and newer loves in the city as well. I will never visit there again without feeling her presence.

I have a number of “Riva stories” to share. I invite you to share yours here on our blog.

As a friend,
Frances Shuster, PCC

New Years’ Resolutions are easy enough to make but hard to keep over time. We begin with commitment and enthusiasm, to change a habit that is important to us. But our brains… and our muscles… and our psyches… default to the old patterns very soon!   Before we know it, we are back on the old road of complacency and discouragement.

I had a friend, Sarah, who resolved to have more meaningful conversations with others.  She devised three simple ideas to practice consistently in order to elicit higher quality conversations with family members and colleagues.

• When her teen daughter said, “It was good”  (can you hear the flat voice tone?) or  ”She’s nice,” Sarah would push for more details. “What made it ‘good’?”  or  ”What specifically makes her ‘nice’?”   Suddenly her daughter had to do more thinking and be less automatic in her response.
• When her colleagues asked for Sarah’s advice about a situation, she would first ask what they were thinking BEFORE offering her own ideas.  She would say, “So what are you thinking about doing?”  This allowed her to build on their ideas before plunging in with her own (brilliant!) thinking.
• In conversations with her friends, Sarah listened to identify core values implicit in their stories and name those values while she paraphrased what they said.  For example, her friend was ranting about her children who were showing a bad attitude about some Christmas gifts they received.   Sarah’s response to the friend was, “It’s really important to you that your children show appreciation and gratitude even if the gift itself misses the mark.”   This opened a whole dialogue about the value that the friend was trying to inspire in her children.

If you are like Sarah and have an important resolution you want to stick with you, then do what she did:

• Focus on what you want to do, rather than on what you don’t want to do.
• Create frames for situations that frequently occur, which will easily move you into practicing the new skill.
• Always be on the lookout for situations when you can use one of the frames.  This will give you lots of practice in the new skill.

Best wishes for 2012 as you practice those new habits of mind!

By Marceta Reilly
Coaching For Results Global, Inc.